Rethinking

Someone once told me not to delete some old blog post. They said that it was all a jouney and what I had written reflected that. Um.... Im thinking now....is it really necessary to record a melt down?

Im thinking that meltdowns, like all other lifes experiance, *are* recorded in one way or another. Especially for people in the habbit of recording stuff. And people have to choose if they are going to be recorders or not.

Some people look at life as though it were a practice sport. I remember the first time I was at a social gathering where they were using a camcorder to record the days events. I kept thinking, this changes everything! The phrase, "Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans" kept running through my head.

Of course another trap is thinking that nothing that you say makes a difference or that you can fix whatever you break. That doesnt work.

I hate being stuck. Did I mention that? It makes sense to sit back and read and understand better whats going on before you participate online. However, for me, its not that practical. Since I dont read thoroughly like alot of people do, Im bound to learn alot of stuff by more (shall we say) intense methods.

Because I am this way, and I can recognize myself as being this way, I can make better decisions about what course to take. It also means that Im going to do things wrong and sometimes I going to offend people (sometimes based on how I feel I need to be defensive).Sometimes Im just not focusing enough on others or the others that really need my empathy and support. I end up not only not helping them the way I could and should, its very unhealthy for the individual who isnt externally focused enough. It doesnt always matter so much what my intensions are. What matters most is that I take responsibility for how what I do effects others as best I can on any given day. Its my only chance at survival in any social setting. I want to do more of that.