Thursday, November 16, 2006

Medical Model

Is it TOO late? Anybody want to help me out here? Im getting the idea that maybe somebody is reading my blog now. I really appreciate that some people are accepting that I truly do have compassion for others and that I want to be the best humanitarian I can be. The respect is really appreciated. It is always better to start off letting people know your heart is in the right place but I still think Im missing something.

Better I learn what that is here by people who respect my humanitarian spirit than try discussing what I dont understand somewhere else and get hurt or ( even worse) offend someone else because of something I just dont understand. I am fully aware that no one can go through life never offending anyone but as some who might be reading this might already have already noticed, I tend to learn things the hard way.

Now, Im not expecting for that to change today and I wont learn all that I need to in one day. Those things describe the other extreme. I just hoping for a little balance. Thats all.

The medical model of autism describes in it in ways that are not productive. Either its LFA vs. HFA or its a set of psychological or pathological symptoms that lead to all kinds of stereotypes and that leads to the very worst treatment of autistic imaginable....extinction being the worst. Neurological or biological descriptions lead to everything from wasteful expense, extreme behvioral treatments, and stuff like chealation that can be extremely dangerous.

Now Ive seen plenty of the negative stereotypes and dealt plenty with exclusion and the prejudices of not fitting in. Ive been doing the psych meds endless counter-productive roller coaster that has caused a great deal of physical problems and total lack of trust of doctors sice I was 11 years old. The institutions in my case werent even about care. Actually a couple of the ones I was in were closed down and described as the worst in the country. If this seems pityful its not. Not at all.

I am very fortunate to be alive. I seek to always display an attitude of gratitude because thats really how I feel. I am living beyond my wildest dreams. Im happily married and Im more hopeful than I ever thought I could be.

I want to work O.K. Im not educated and I at least have to start with these things from where I am. I am very respectful of people who have overcome many of the challenges that I havnt (yet). It doesnt really matter why I am where I am. However, to not accept where I am in order to use it as a stepping stone to move forward, only serves to keep me where I am by conforming to the expectations of others and continuing to not meet them. Its not that I cant do things, but at least I cant for right now and I at least need to see it that way in order to move forward.

I taught myself somethings that arent going to work as far as my contiuing my education or achieving a practical vocation. It would be defeatist of me to say otherwise. Im sure that once I get started in a truly productive way Ill move past alot of things quickly but there is no use in going over what hasnt worked in the past.

Practically speaking I cant read. All that means is that my method of reading needs to be evaluated so that I can relearn to read in a way that I can practically use to move forward. The G.E.D. isnt practical for me. It assumes that I have learned too many things that I havent. I know what Im speaking of from experiance. Beleieve it or not, many of my educational abilities are ranked at around 3rd or 4th grade. I have tried algerbra many times and havent found a place where I can begin.

I want to create educational supports for myself and others and the way autism is described is a good way to get those supports in place. My mother is a special education teacher. She doesnt live near me. We talk on the phone and she wants to help. She has always been partially deaf but now its to the point that we are trying to set up a web cam and learn american sign language as she begins to teach me school work. I plan to use my blog to network with people who are homeschooling and trade ideas. I know its different with children but I think this can be productive for everyone involved.

As far as the autism diagnosis for the medical practicalities, Im thinking its going to at least need to be better defined. What are movement disorders, seizure disorders, and where does autisms movement and sensory issues fit or does the autism diagnosis have no practical application for medicines and movement issues?(thats a question) Also am I not thinking practically when I discuss my experiances on line because my goals are not practical, I describe my situation in ways that ultimately increase peoples negative stereotypes of autism, or what? Is placing a cut off point between autism and neurotypical too dangerous for me to associate myself too closely with that label? If I am seen to be seeing things that I can see better Ill listen. If the way Im descibing my situation is counter-productive to how autism *should* be seen, maybe I need to make some adjustments in how I describe myself and ultimately how I approach my goals.

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