Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I Say This

I just want to say this. Some things I want to say but I really dont want to talk about.

Its like debating. I cant really say that Ive ever really been in a debate. It took me years to be able to explain this. Of course I know that what I have is opinions. I just have no way of supporting them in a debate. Whats more important though, is that I have no interest in learning to do this. I could explain why but if someone feels that life is all about opinions and debate....not everyone feels this way. Not even everyone feels that blogging is all about this. Im glad that there are people that feel this way or i would have to stop blogging. Its too confusing otherwise. No Im not saying something about all autistics or even anybody but me. I speak for myself only.

People make assumptions about me and of course I make assumptions too. If I was blaming anyone I would have to accept the same blame also but thats not at all my point. The reason that people make assumptions about me that gives me difficulty is because I havent told them what would explain to them why they are assuming what they are. Its up to me to clear it up and eventually maybe Ill find a way. Until then, I accept responsibility for it but until I know how to deal with it I can just say what I am saying here.

I have a great deal of difficulty with knowing how much to tell about myself and when to tell that. Im sure it will make a difference in how Im seen and understood. There are people who are comfortable with communicating in a realm that is too confusing to me. Since not everyone is like that or doesnt choose complicated communcation, those who do or that find me confusing, can leave me alone because.... I know that Ill find people that are interested in working with me to find simple communication. Thats why I blog and otherwise I wouldnt blog. No, Im not saying anything about this being an autistic thing. Its a me thing.

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