Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Acceptance Happens

Acceptance changes the veiwer as well as the veiwed. The earlier it happens the more productive we can be.

All the awareness that we ever hoped for may not need to be searched for at all. Sometimes what we want to happen or are trying to make happen gets all tied up in the expectations of what to many people are telling us is supposed to happen.

Quiet sometimes scares me. If nobody else is doing something, then maybe I need to.

Sometimes I feel that if I ever stop moving for too long that I wont be able to move or maybe I already went where I wasnt supposed to go. The more I feel as though Im stoping, the more concerned I am that my movement wont be controled in a comfortable way.

The ideal of graceful movement causes all my thoughts to be centered on any formal expression I can think of that may bring about some measure of productivity that wont shame or degrade how others see themself or me. I seek to ground my thoughts, coordinate my body, and my words.

Ive never minded working toward my goals but nothing frustrates me more than stuckness. I dont need to control how my body responds to every situation but stuckness is so often associated with seizure.

People who seek to control how their mind and body becomes stagnet and seizes may seek to express them selves in many ways that are not only comfortable to experiance but are also uncomfortable for others to watch.

When you dont have it, this kind of control or graceful movement can dominate someones thoughts. I watch such difficulty in other people and I see it WAY to much in myself. I see it on the internet as I watch others who are struggling with it. I can actually hear it in the way that they write and empathize as I experiance the same as well.

Something about movement disorders always leaves me wondering.... Would they be so stressful if more people talked about how it made them feel? If we could allow more of our movements that were less formal and more disorderly to be O.K. both in how we appear that shows in what we write....wouldnt that at least reduce some of the anxioty about what otherwise makes us feel ashamed about things we really dont need to feel that way about? I wonder....

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