Thursday, February 14, 2008

Entitlement and Commitment.

I am aware of a method of how to approach the subject of entitlement and commitment with my questions and thoughts. Answers to these questions and conclusions to these viewpoints are what promotes discussion. I have not found a method of participating in discussion based on how the process of discussion has been presented to me. Weather or not this is a self imposed limitation or not, I do feel that I pay a price for it. While it may seem to afford me certain liberties, it also creates a lot of bounderies. I am commited to the process (as I understand it) just the same.

Throughout a persons life, one is presented with liberties and prices for the attainment of those liberties. Love is an equal exchange that includes a great deal of trust, faith and commitment.

When one commits to more than one person, pledging your faith and trust can become more complex. An organized group who have some common interest or view seems complex enough, but a family.... the faith and trust involved in everyones commitment must be beyond what any human could ever prepare for.

Once a person, a couple, or group of people, take responsibility for another (a child for instance) before and/or without that persons consent (or their willingness to make that same commitment to common goals), they have the potential for all extreme situations, both terrible and great. When a person is placed into an environment that is not of their choosing, the continual progressive realization of everyone involved will require a great deal of vulnerability on everyones part.

To describe that vulnerability in scientific or mathmatical terms seems quite impractical. The emotion of love, along with the faith and trust in your own ability as well, as others ability to comprehend the complexities of that commitment is a part of a complex network that no ones words could ever describe.

Once a person makes a commitment to another to be responsible for that person's well being, nothing entitles that person to break that commitment. If you make a decision based only on romantic love, it lacks the commitment to reach the goal that the decision was meant to accomplish. Romantic love without commitment places love in a box that that is unattainable to you or those whom you intend it for. It cheapens the most wonderful feeling or expression to being nothing more than every other fleeting thought and emotion that anyone may experience at any time.

In this way, any whimsical notion, in one moment of indecision, can take every joyful expectation and dream you ever had and allow that to transition into the worst fearful nightmare you can imagine.

For civilization of any kind to continue at all in this world, it will require the vulnerability of commitment, and then the safety and courage that accompanies that commitment will sustain our civilization. Just as a coward dies a thousand deaths, the lack of commitment will bring about it's own punishment and that punishment will be servere. The decision to strenghten the emotion of love that accompanies your commitment will strengthen that same courage and the love that makes your commitments joyful and hopeful.

When you instead allow your decisions to be based on frivilous and fleeting thoughts and the experiances that accompany those thoughts you will suffer the injuries of battle that accompanies your frivilous and fleeting thoughts that you use in vain to secure the rewards of the commitments that you weren't willing to really work for.

No government, church, judge or jury on earth will decide this punishment. Nature has it's own system of justice.

When a child is born and you as a parent or guardian chooses to love that child, it is a romantic love that must be fostered and renewed like all love. If what you romantisize about what you will experience with the child (or even what you want the child to experience ) you may have to let go of those romantic hopes if (for whatever reason) that is not going to happen. This is because your child can't afford to feel this disappointment based on learning that they should be disappointed because you are. Besides such grieving is misguided, unnecessary, and it doesn't help you any either.

Whatever you desire (based on subjective, arbitrary, and romantisized notions) for your child to experiance or achieve based on their ability, that doesn't happen the way you hoped or planned, this doesn't entitle you to to judge them or their experience as less valuable or less worthy of all the joy you can bring them. It also doesn't entitle you to judge what they provide to you as any less worthy of what you provide to them.

If you make a commitment to love someone(spouse, partner,etc.) it will originally be based partly on the romantic notions of what you hope for someone to become. Whatever may stand in the way of that, may require you to foster your love for them in different ways. A commitment to love someone isn't subject to change based on what you decide you want later on. It becomes a commitment when you make it or it isn't a commitment at all.

Also your willingness to act everyday in ways that strengthen that love is what reminds the other person that you meant it in the first place and when it reminds you of that too, then your love and commitment for each other can become more powerful than any challenge.


2 Comments:

At 4:03 PM , Blogger Patrick said...

happy Valentine's day Ed!

 
At 4:31 AM , Blogger Ed said...

The same to you Patrick.

 

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